It has been exactly a year since I started this blog. Since then, somehow 1300 people have read it. To some, that number seems small. After all, that’s only about 3.5 people per day. However, to me, 1300 is a huge number….this blog’s purpose never was to gain popularity. It was never about the numbers. But slowly, as I gained courage and shared it with more and more people, I gained affirmation that my honest words were relatable. And that is the purpose of this blog. To turn my numerous, jumbled thoughts and dreams into words so that others can relate, learn, and be encouraged. So here’s a little bit of my life in a year:
Within the past year, I have grown more than I could have ever imagined. I have gained an immense amount of appreciation for my single heart. Honestly, the majority of the time I have no idea how people date in college—kudos to ya’ll! Of course, I am the type of person who enjoys a completely packed schedule–I enjoy the challenge of balancing everything I’m involved in. And hey, this is college–the four years of your life where you are surrounded by more resources, passionate people, and dream-filled air than you ever will be at any other time in your life. Being single has blessed me by allowing me to fully engage in my current relationships with my lovely best friends. Being single has allowed me to truly question the antics behind my dream of becoming a doctor. Not only that though, it has furthered my knowledge that at this very moment, I am doing God’s will. More than ever before I am completely passionate in becoming a doctor. And it’s crazy to think that all of this has happened because my single heart has finally been able to analyze itself. I am thankful for this. I am thankful for the passion-filled direction that I have prayed so long to receive. If you are single, enjoy it. Don’t wish to be in a relationship because you already are in one. And if you can’t appreciate and love the relationship you have with God, then how will you be able to appreciate a relationship with a significant other. Take this time to grow closer to God—it’s a beautiful thing. It’s a wonderful time.
In the past year, I have gained two best friends at Auburn–Madison and Jade–two completely different girls who love me in different, yet incredibly, beautiful ways. They have taught me to be bold, to be intentional, to be real. Let me try to sum it up…
Madison, you have taught me that it’s okay to cry. I know this sounds ridiculous, but before you I honestly never cried with anyone as openly as I do with you. I know you’re like, “Sarah, you’ve cried three times.” But trust me, that’s a lot. In your own way, you have beautifully healed my heart. You have reminded me that showing emotion is a normal, human thing to do—slowly, you have erased my fear of being emotional around people. Madison, together, we have lived life well! We have filled many days with adventures, spontaneous trips, and expeditions that deserve their own photo album. We go together well. You know what I need to hear, even when it’s not always what I want to hear. You have easily become my “other half.” You truly get me. You constantly encourage me, reminding me that my dreams may be hard to reach, but are indeed attainable. I am proud of you Madison. I am thankful for you. God knew we truly needed each other last Spring. Oh goodness, how I desperately needed a friend like you—you were an eight-month-long prayer finally answered. Every day, I am reminded of how glad I am that YOU were the answer. You have healed me.
Jade, oh Jade. As I write this, I’m giggling to myself, but my eyes are tearing up as well. Jade, when I try to write about what I have learned most from you, a million different memories run through my head. You have an equally sassy and sarcastic soul that loves me well. Honestly though, it has been a challenge learning how to best love a soul like mine. Together, we are ambitious, sarcastic dreamers—together we shoot for the stars. However, amongst shooting for the stars, I often forget to be intentional. I forget to show you love. I fail at giving you attention and showing you how appreciative I truly am for you and all that you do not only for me, but also for the lovely community we live in. You are my black twin sister–for we truly have identical souls. You bless me constantly. You challenge me. You remind me to be bold….which has made me blunt. Your love has made my heart strong and my soul empathetic. I love you Jade.
In the past year, I have slowly learned how to take each day at a time. It has been a beautiful, God-given blessing. It has allowed me to appreciate the little things more than ever before. It has enabled me to use my time more wisely. It has made me more trusting of our wonderful, all-knowing God. My eyes have been open.
In the past year, I met Savannah…a girl with a story that will break your heart. Yet, through all the tragedy, she has survived. She is the strongest fighter I know I will ever meet. I am thankful that I got to be with her for 2 months. I am thankful for all that she taught me. She broke my heart for the better though…before her I wasn’t the best sympathizer. And even though I’m still working on it, she made me realize that some things in life you can’t relate to…but even so, you can still be there 100% — especially for the people who have completely captivated your heart. Savannah, don’t give up. You are strong. You are a fighter. You can’t give up now. You are dearly loved.
In the past two months, I have became educated on the global issues of this world—they are all connected, all important, and a change must be done in all of them in order to see a change in the world. I have found my passion–I am no longer naive. Before, I hated watching the news and being informed because it broke my heart. It hurt to know that all of this evil goes on in the world and yet my small self can do nothing about it. However, then I began my year as a Global Leadership Challenge Fellow and it has forever changed me. I honestly believe that I have learned more the past two months from the class and the Fellows then perhaps in my entire lifetime…Shout-out to my Fellows, who are the most passionate, honest, intentional people I have ever met (http://www.auburn.edu/student_info/student_affairs/globalchallengeslocalsolutions/undergraduatefellows.html). They constantly inspire me, challenge me, and encourage me. Most of all, because of this fellowship I have learned that even though there are many problems in this world, I am capable of changing them. For small steps are better than no steps.
So this is what the past year has done for me. I have been broken. I have been healed. I have grown. And honestly, somehow, I do a little of all three every single day. I think this is the key to staying passionate and driven…to being realistic while optimistic. Don’t be afraid of change—it truly is a beautiful thing. Embrace it. Let it challenge you. And be honest—with yourself, with others. This might change you the most…and it will be for the better.
You are dearly loved.